SO Much Going On

"Why I wonder, am I always in love?" singer Jeff Tweedy sings on his song, "Always In Love" (hence the name). Well, Jeff, I wonder the exact same thing.

Why is it that almost every new guy I meet (that is hot of course!) I fall in love with? It seems weird. I just can't stop falling in love!

Not too long ago, my eyes locked with a guy. It was at my mom's place, in Troy (not junkie), in the condo parking lot, and I was really bored. Everyone had gone and chased after a kid named Eddy, and finally, my cousin Preston was last to leave. FINALLY. We were alone.

I looked at Robert in the eyes. Was this worth it? I sighed, not physically, but emotionally. Our eyes locked in sync, then we leaned in. Lips meeting, they felt wet. Euphoria spread throughout my body, and my mind kept asking me, "Is this really happening?". I didn't know for sure.

And why is it that my love for William quickly ended? Why did it happen? What happened? Why did he all of the sudden fall for Emily, and why did Emily fall in love with him? I'm confused.

Things in my life are rising, making me feel I'm living the high life, but then again it crashes. There's so much going on, life's a party (I'm RICH, BABY). I just can't seem to figure out why I was so emo and depressed before... It's like I got drugged or something.

And I hate when a guy you like, who you were friends with just the day before, suddenly doesn't want to see you or be your friend? And what about his bitchy sister? Why won't she let you talk to him on the phone? The answer may never be questioned (yeah, I wrote that correctly).

I'm tired of guys leaving me stranded and wanted. I'm tired of not hearing from Brad Fraser. I'm tired of the combination of William Gardner and Emily Howard. I'm tired of Robert not talking to me now. I'm tired of Spencer Tweedy being at camp, even though he went today. GUYS!! Work this out with me, please.

Just before going to camp, Spencer Tweedy (one of the many Spencers, huh?) and I started to fight. It all started with a stupid Myspace message. Since I couldn't get my book finished, I asked him if he wanted to do a partnership on it. That must have triggered it. He told me he wouldn't be mad if I sent him something on Facebook. So I did. I made a huge mistake about the topic, though.
"Why are you so annoyed by Myspace?" I asked. He replied that he didn't "effing" like Myspace. That was the last of it. Now I have to wait until next month for him to reply back. Tisk, tisk, tisk.

Guys. I guess they're just not my story. Whatever. I have a charming way... Hmmm, it always convinces.

And as for now, I have to work something out with Evan Shantz. Oy.